Could This Be Heaven?

Sunday Morning Sunrise Savannah Georgia
Sunday Morning Sunrise Savannah Georgia

But once you start to think it is; it won’t be.  It’s also the title of one of my most favorite songs, “Could This Be Heaven?” by Original Mirrors.  Released in 1980, I heard it for the first time in 1982 while in Germany. I taped it from SWF3, Südwestfunk drei, still one of the best rock stations of all time.  They played a wonderful mix of American, English and European songs in the style of the original album FM stations of NYC in the ‘60’s and ‘70’s.

But I digress, being in the car, listening to certain songs, is almost like having a time machine. I am transported instantly to the time and place where that particular song had an impact.  In this case, it’s 1983, I’m driving between my home near Pirmasens to Baden Baden and I am taking these very small roads through the Alsace of France (which is really German, just look at the town names).  I loved this route, little traffic, little hassle at the border and some great roads, through beautiful forests and medieval towns.  But the best part was the driving, flat out for the most part, especially once I got off of B10.

In France, there was a particular spot that I knew well, as it was quite technical.  The road had a little rise, that caused the car to almost get airborne, but it also curved right in the middle.  So one had to set up the car knowing where you were going to come down.  And while the car did not get airborne, it was so light on the suspension that it was only going to go where you pointed it when it took off.

Every time I hear, Could This Be Heaven?” I am brought to that place, and the joy I felt when I took ti perfectly.  I had Canadian friends at the Canadian Air Base at Baden Baden, so for a while I was taking this trip monthly.  It was heaven.

But then, so why did I leave?

Three years earlier, I was listening to another song, not as dramatic, nor as catchy, but for me, somehow it epitomized my year.  I had fallen hard for a married woman, but she was a good catholic and wasn’t going to change anything, even though she wasn’t very happy.  I remember walking on the flight line at Ramstein to say goodbye and the tune on SWF3 was “American Music” by Prism.

“American music you can hear it all over the world. Right now somewhere this minute there’s a radio playin on And it’s playing that rhythm and blues…”

I was the one leaving, having to return to the U.S. It took me quite a while to get over her, and this pretty upbeat song, always brought a sadness and even now, 34 years later, I still get wistful.

This brings me back to the point of this story.  As Brad pointed out in his comment, in Quantum Mechanics, you can know a time or a place, but not both.  Once you decide you are deliriously happy, Fate will intervene.  I’ve had too many deliriously happy months that took years to recover from.  The pain was so out of proportion to the actual loss.  Shirley, the woman mentioned above was a friend, a genuine nice person and so very faithful,much to my chagrin.  The sense of loss I experienced was so out of proportion to the actual loss.

So now on Dauntless, I am living the life that I have planned.  I’m content knowing that I am not deliriously happy.

Now, if only I had a cat.